Even This One

Wounded
even this one
like so many
tears
swelling
uncontrollably
adding ambush to defeat
clustering like grapes
whaling
spilling more loss
into an emptiness growing
replete with regret
recalling
how it once was
imagined.

Someone had lied
whispers in a garden
where truth was
traded
and doubting triumphed
suddenly
nakedness saw
and understood its need to hide
feeling the sun setting
the heart ablaze
with darkness
even
though it was
clinging to life lit
with each cold laugh
dripping
with its own dire need
to overcome
this dying.

Accused
even this one
like so many
lost
searching
desperately adding
qualm to questions
when she heard

The Word

Walking
Piercing
Asking

Who has told you that you were naked?
From dirt you were taken
And
To dirt you shall return
Naked
Unless you turn…

She spun
flung
at His feet
with so many questions
and all her accusers
vanished
gone
even
the biggest
boulder tumbled
turning her many scars
to sweetest perfume mixing
her flood of tears with His
love never ending
and complete.

Healed
even this one
like so many
streams
swelling
uncontrollably
adding gratitude to grace
clustering like golden
grapes
spilling more sweetness
into an emptiness growing
replete with hope
recalling
how it once was
foreshadowed.

Someone had prophesied
prayers in a garden
where fear was
traded
and love triumphed
suddenly
nakedness saw
and understood its need to hide
feeling the sun setting
her heart ablaze
with love
even
though she saw
it nailed to a cross
with each cold spike
dripping
with perfect life
to dethrone
this death.

Victorious
even this one
like so many
redeemed
swelling
uncontrollably
adding melody to music
clustering like grapes
rejoicing
spilling more gladness
into this victory sealed
replete with grace
revealing
how it once was
promised.

Petra O. Hefner

Scripture

Paint Not His Heart

paint your nails
but not his heart
it cannot feel
the acetate
and bleed
apart

paint your lips
but not his love
it cannot taste
the poison
speaking
of

all your syrupy sweetness

paint your words
but not his smile
it cannot wish
for wanting
while

your garrisoned games erupt his waiting
dream
go right ahead and scream

then

paint your flawless flaunting face
just not his broken frame
it cannot stand
beneath the fall
and yet
it will

stand still
beneath his wing
hope spilling hope
until
all your colors
run

Petra O. Hefner

Scripture

No, I’m Not Sad

No,
I’m not sad
it can never be that
when God has given me so much
more than I could ever hold
not that
I’m not sad
but I am

stalked

in the middle of life
where the sun shines
and the rains rain
soaking my flesh
pinned to the ground with my eyes
forced open
to see the world
twisted and broken everywhere
people
walking and talking
as if they knew
how to fix everything
with a flame and a skewer
full of roasted meats
filling the streets
feeling nothing at all
like sadness
more like a Saturday
underneath all that smoke
a voice screams
but nobody hears
my mind
floods the scene completely
with numbness
drowning all
uncomfortable wrongness
in everything only
one thing
remains
and

No,
I’m not sad
it can never be that
overwhelming
when God has and I don’t
have to be

that afraid

in the middle of life
where the sun shines
and the rains rain
soaking my flesh
knit together fearfully in love
with my eyes fully full
of grace filling my face with new volition
to smile back at the world
for which He came
twisted and broken
yet whole
nothing at all like sadness
more like a blushed sunny day
melting the numbness
hushing the scream
nobody hears
my tears
drowning the night completely
with new light making light
the heaviness that had me pinned
but has no more
a hold on me
I’m free

now
I’m not sad
it could never be that
when God has given me so much
more than I could ever hold
more than that

I’m not sad
but I am

glad

to be me
in Him
!

Petra O. Hefner

“Here is joy that cannot be shaken. Our light can swallow up your darkness: but your darkness cannot now infect our light.” C.S. Lewis

Scripture