No, I’m Not Sad

No,
I’m not sad
it can never be that
when God has given me so much
more than I could ever hold
not that
I’m not sad
but I am

stalked

in the middle of life
where the sun shines
and the rains rain
soaking my flesh
pinned to the ground with my eyes
forced open
to see the world
twisted and broken everywhere
people
walking and talking
as if they knew
how to fix everything
with a flame and a skewer
full of roasted meats
filling the streets
feeling nothing at all
like sadness
more like a Saturday
underneath all that smoke
a voice screams
but nobody hears
my mind
floods the scene completely
with numbness
drowning all
uncomfortable wrongness
in everything only
one thing
remains
and

No,
I’m not sad
it can never be that
overwhelming
when God has and I don’t
have to be

that afraid

in the middle of life
where the sun shines
and the rains rain
soaking my flesh
knit together fearfully in love
with my eyes fully full
of grace filling my face with new volition
to smile back at the world
for which He came
twisted and broken
yet whole
nothing at all like sadness
more like a blushed sunny day
melting the numbness
hushing the scream
nobody hears
my tears
drowning the night completely
with new light making light
the heaviness that had me pinned
but has no more
a hold on me
I’m free

now
I’m not sad
it could never be that
when God has given me so much
more than I could ever hold
more than that

I’m not sad
but I am

glad

to be me
in Him
!

Petra O. Hefner

“Here is joy that cannot be shaken. Our light can swallow up your darkness: but your darkness cannot now infect our light.” C.S. Lewis

Scripture

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